It can be so hard to date people one on one. That’s already plenty complicated enough. But meeting couples on dates? Twice as tricky.

I never considered myself a unicorn. But I have been one. And enjoyed the experiences. (I hope to tell you about them some time!) Dating a couple can be an odd experience.

There can be couples like the one I described in Electric Kisses, where I felt a much stronger connection to one person over the other. But quite often, there’s just no chemistry at all. And that’s mostly been the case for me.

The first couple I met on a date. I’d been chatting to them for weeks but from the overwhelming amount of emojis being used I wrongly assumed that I was talking to her. I found out on our date that I was not. They sent me a collage of pictures of them on their own and together as a couple before our date. They were attractive and interesting and I was excited to meet them.

When I pulled into the pub, they were already seated at a table near a front window and had watched me struggle to park. They both kissed my cheek ‘hello’ and he offered to get my drink. Conversation was stilted at first but settled into more of a rhythm. They talked excessively about their interest in both climbing and visiting sex clubs and their stories about sex and dating were much more extreme than mine. She inadvertently admitted to lying about their ages and incidentally, she looked 10-15 years older than her pictures would indicate. I felt uncomfortable and at the end of the night when he announced he’d like a snog, I immediately felt ‘the ick’ and politely declined.

The second couple I met on a date. They were lovely and warm in their messages. Quite straightforward with the way they expressed their sexual interest in me before we met up. Both ridiculously attractive in person. Engaging in conversation, really interesting. It turned out we had some things in common that hadn’t been touched on in our messaging and this meant that we talked very easily for several hours.

I felt quite energised by this date. It felt like such a victory to be meeting a couple where things flowed very naturally between us. Where I felt an attraction to them both fairly equally. I loved that they both made me laugh, that I could see myself in bed with them as easily as I could see myself spending time with them socially.

So it kind of burst my bubble (and really hurt my feelings!) when after our date I sent them a message saying what a great time I had and to find out when we might meet again with some added kissing perhaps? Their response was to say, didn’t we tell you? We’re only interested in friendship and the social side of things. Oh. So, very different to how you were in your messaging before you met me then. I wish people had more courage to just say outright that they don’t fancy me.

The third couple I met on a date. By this time, I wasn’t feeling very motivated to meet other couples. But this couple was nerdy and loved board games and nerdy board game people are generally my kind of people. So I took a chance on them. And… they were nice. We did not share a similar outlook on board games. Or music. Or books. Or other hobbies. And I don’t need those things. I’m not attracted only to clones of myself. But it felt very much like we were all scrambling around for what to say to each other as every topic was kind of crumbling to pieces.

At one point, he had left something in the pub we were just in and she and I stood in the street waiting. I was not handling the silence well so tried to insert plenty of my trademark babbling to end the silence. But she pretty much just looked at me so intently like she was trying to memorise my features for a quiz that would happen shortly. I didn’t know what to say or do and I felt relieved when he returned and we could carry on with our journey towards the train station.

I tend to say often that I’m not sure how my attraction works but for the most part, I knew that I wasn’t attracted to either of these people. But I was in a spate of not so great dates at this time so I thought ‘maybe I’m wrong’ about the lack of attraction when we finally said our goodbyes and he mentioned a kiss goodnight.

I kissed her first and it was soft and wet and I remembering thinking it was too soft and too wet for my liking. I kissed him next and he pulled me into his body and it felt like too much with one hand in my hair and another at my waist. We said our goodbyes and we never met again.