Last weekend, and I guess most weekends, I’ll be invited to go out on dates. Often these invitations are from strangers that have seen my name online and are trying their chances, or people I’ve matched with on dating apps. Rarely it is people I’ve met previously but those have a much higher likelihood of a positive response.

Lately I’ve realised that I go through phases of being burnt out by dating. Sometimes it feels like a lot of effort. In the early stages of conversation, trying to work out enough about a person to determine if they’re worth the time spent. Getting to know each other, travelling to a date, getting ready for a date. Sitting through a date. Making conversation.

A lot of times I’ll have one dud of a date after another. And the disappointment after each boring date takes an emotional toll. I hate getting my hopes up or feeling excited about meeting a person for there to be no chemistry. No natural flow to conversation. For their online personality to be interesting and engaging but dull in person.

Last weekend and actually every time I get invited to a date lately the process I go through to determine whether or I say ‘yes’ or not is that I ask myself one thing:

Would I prefer to go on this date or would I prefer to stay at home in bed with my dog?

If I’m genuinely excited to meet this person, to spend time with them and I’m not initially grumbling about lost free time or whatever, then I say ‘yes’ and start to make plans.

But if I think …I’d really like to finish watching season three of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with my dog snoring pressed against my leg in bed? Then it’s a polite ‘no thank you’ as I reach for my remote control.