Is there anything worse than a self-proclaimed ‘nice guy’? If there is, I haven’t found it so far. And it really pains me to hate on the nice guys but not the actually truly nice guys. Just the ones that proudly bear the label and make it part of their identity that they’re one of the good ones, a nice guy, you’re safe with me sort.

I was speaking to one such nice guy who was very much of the I’m a decent sort, very gentlemanly (another red flag word!) and we were all set to go on a date when he asked for more pictures of me. I had sent him two different face pictures already but figured he’d just wanted a reminder.

He wrote back to say that’s all well and good, and he can tell I’m ‘facially attractive’ but what’s the point in meeting me if he didn’t see everything else beforehand too? What ‘everything else’ I asked? He said he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time and wanted to see pictures of my waist, of my arms, my legs. Just to make sure that he’s sexually attracted to me, you understand. Only no, I did not. And I cancelled our date on the spot. If the size of my arms is something a man relies on for attraction, count me out.

Another man I met at a social gathering. He assured me he was one of the good guys, that his women friends could attest to that fact. He’s always very respectable, him. Respected boundaries, respected women. It was really like he wanted a parade in his honour looking back on it. Because that wasn’t my experience. I told him that I wasn’t into him in that way but that I loved his company and his friendship. He seemed willing to just be my friend. Except any time he could, he’d make little quips about how ‘you could sit on my face anytime’ or he’d say he’d love a blowjob from me, he could picture it in detail. I bet he’s still confused as to why I blocked him, why I no longer want to be his friend.

I’ve already written a bit about the last man that springs to mind when I think of fake nice guys. But we met several times socially, we were going to go for a walk but we met up at his place first. Ended up talking on his sofa before one thing led to another and oops, his dick ended up inside me. I was okay with it though, he seemed ‘nice’ enough. Until he sent me a message to say that he was looking for something ‘wholesome’ and ‘proper’ and that that meant he and I could only be friends. Even though everything we had talked about doing together were dating type activities. That I wasn’t wholesome enough to date him because we’d had sex wasn’t hugely nice of him. But I’m glad he showed his colours fairly early on.