I quite like you. But as you’ve never given any sort of indication that you’re into me it will continue to be one of those unrequited crushes on my side. That’s okay.

There’s someone that I interact with on the forums online that is cute and funny. He takes good pictures, he can respond in a lighthearted jokey way sometimes, he can answer using emotion and deep feelings other times. He comes across as someone quite lovely and decent and (even though I hate the word) genuine.

He’s also quite flirty. But I like that. I feel like I feel more comfortable around flirty people. I haven’t given that much thought until just this second but I think it’s true.

I met him a couple of months ago in a large social gathering. And he was just as cute and funny and lovely and decent in person too. I was slightly nervous in the group gathering and I remember after we’d said hello to each other and then moved apart to talk to others, occasionally I’d look up and see him looking at me and once he mouthed ‘are you okay?’ at me and I thought he’s very kind. I fucking love kindness in a man.

And maybe that’s it? That’s at the heart of things?

Because he hasn’t ever expressed a sexual interest in me, my crush isn’t sexual. I can’t imagine the two of us kissing or being naked. It’s not that for me.

I know from things he’s posted online that he can feel strong things about women and lately they haven’t really worked out for him. Maybe it’s just that I like him as a person and I’d like to see him happy?

Whatever it is, I don’t mind. I’m not over here burning up at the idea that my feelings for someone aren’t reciprocated. I’m not bent out of shape because I’m into him and he only answers my private messages every few weeks. It’s none of that. I’m really okay with how things are.

It feels nice sometimes to have a crush. To have some place to steer some big feelings towards and for it be fairly harmless, to go nowhere, for it to not mean that much. Just holding onto lovely, warm feelings about another person.