He asked to meet in a pub halfway between where I lived and where he lived. Later he asked me how long it took me to get there and we both said it had taken us the exact length of time to drive there. It really was right in the middle.

The pub itself was fairly fancy. Like, fancier than I’d normally have gone to. But it was cute. When he arrived he sat opposite and as soon as he sat down he had me in peals of laughter. I thought later I hope he doesn’t think I’m laughing at him but this thing that happened really tickled me and I got a fit of the giggles.

What followed was hours and hours of great conversation, more laughs. This had been the third time I’d seen him socially though the first time I’d met him one-on-one and I realised that I didn’t know much about him. I didn’t know what he did for work or what his hobbies and interests were. I knew he was kind and very genuine from our previous interactions. Attentive.

And those things came out over drinks that day. I don’t know how or when I developed such a thing for kind, caring men but I do. I get a surge of emotion when someone else looks out for me, physically or emotionally. I can’t even give an example of it in our conversation but it felt like time after time he would say or do something that made me feel looked after. Safe.

Plus I just liked looking at his face for several hours. He had an easy smile, an interest in me, a way of looking that made me realise his entire focus was on me during the time we were together. And that’s a nice feeling, to have someone’s full attention.

Later, we gave up our table and ended up on a sofa near the bar with another drink and instead of being opposite, we sat next to each other, one or both of us shrinking the distance between us just that little bit until we were pressed thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder.

It was probably because of this that conversation turned to more intimate things. I’d met him on two previous occasions where he had the company of two different women and I enjoyed listening to how non-monogamy worked for him. It was reassuring to hear how he talked about women, about how he described his relationship with non-monogamy.

We talked about me being both demisexual and reciprosexual. Some of my own experiences and challenges with rejection. He was very honest in saying that he struggles with rejection and that it can be hard to be as straightforward as I need someone else to be when it comes to knowing if I had any kind of sexual attraction towards him. But he did it in the end, bless him. I think some part of my brain understood the physical contact between us as at least a hint towards his interest in me. But it’s still nice to hear it. There is perhaps something that he said that I’m still pondering, it’s still tumbling around in my head and I don’t know what to make of it. But when he did say the words, I did think I could probably see it.

We’d both been away for a lot longer than expected so we managed to go out the staff exit which was nearer to our cars and had a bit of a kiss saying goodbye. And it was lovely. He’s a lovely man.