I was having this difficult conversation with him the other day and he said something that changed things for me.

It’s not different to things other people have told me. But for whatever reason, it landed at just the right time.

He said something like, I thought it was obvious – you’re a really sexy women. And then he went on to list some of the ways he finds me sexy.

It was nice to read but I don’t think I fully appreciated it until after that conversation when I was less emotional about everything.

And when I did think about it, my response was more along the lines of …do I need to reconsider again how I think of myself? Are the ways that I think of myself outdated and do they no longer serve me? Are the ways that I think about myself bringing me pain?

And I think they are. After he said what he said, I started to think …if I really believed him, if I really thought I’m a sexy person, if I thought I’m passionate in bed, that I’m good at taking part in sexy activities, if I thought that I am desirable person …would I be having the insecurities that I’m having? Would I need this amount of reassurance?

I think I’ve been stuck in a certain way of thinking for too long. And I’ve needed reassurance in the past from previous relationships or previous sexual partners that they find me sexy or desirable or …worthy. But do I think that about myself?

This whole line of questioning really stopped me in my tracks. It made me do quite a bit of soul searching. I think in the past I’ve tried to do quite a bit of internal work to improve the way I think of myself. My appearance, my body shape, the overall look of me.

And I think that without even realising it this thing has crept up on me and surprised me. And when I started asking myself the types of questions I did, I realised the most shocking thing ever.

I do believe him. I believe it in myself. I am sexy, I am desirable. I like the way my face looks. I like that I’ve grown out my hair again. I like the clothes that I’m wearing lately. I like the way my body looks. With and without clothes. I like wearing different types of lingerie that show off my body.

I like me.