Following on from a previous post, I have done quite a bit to improve my environment. I am now a very firm believer that this is such a vital first step for me.

I started by doing a deep clean of my house. I hoovered, including the stairs. I scrubbed at my bathroom sink and the toilet, I scrubbed the base of the shower cubicle. I changed my bedlinen so that I could slide into bed that evening with crisp sheets.

Already I could feel my mood lifting. But I didn’t stop there. I decided all the piles of books around me felt claustrophobic. So I got some abandoned fruit trays at my local supermarket and have piled the boxes in my garage filled with books I no longer want that I’m going to donate back to charity shops. I cleared out a set of drawers filled with crap and I’ve now got a place for all my lingerie that isn’t carrier bags hastily shoved into corners.

I cleared out my bathroom cabinet of all the miscellaneous junk I didn’t want but didn’t know what to do with. And now it’s only got the creams and products that I actually use. And it feels me with joy.

I don’t understand fully but with every one of these actions it was like I was telling myself ‘you’re worthy of clean, uncluttered spaces’ It shouldn’t be this big of a deal. I shouldn’t be feeling joy at empty spaces around my reading chair. And yet I do.

I think it’s because I’ve put thought into it. I’ve thought of the different things I could be doing that would make me happier. Or at least less unhappy and I’ve made a list. And I’ve started ticking things off that list. And with everything I do it’s like I’m telling myself ‘Your wants and needs are valued’

My wants and needs are valued. God, that has a great ring to it.