I really like reading. And I really like sex. And what I really love is when the two things I love most in the world combine.

I’ll probably write more about some of the non-fiction books I’ve got planned about sex and sexuality, the female body, orgasms. But right now? Right now I’m reading a fiction book called Experienced by Kate Young. It’s a book about a newly-out lesbian in her 30s finding her way amongst dating, casual sex, relationships and just figuring shit out.

And I fucking love it. I’m only about halfway through but do you ever just read something and think god, yeah. There was a bit in the book where Bette, the main character meets a hot woman in a bar and they end up with her pressed against a wall while the hot woman fingers her to orgasm. And afterwards Bette is all yes, I fucking did it. I just had sex. And my first thought was oh my god, I spend too much time with the straights because this one reaction about the definition of sex has just reshaped my life. And I love it.

I think what I realised when I read that scene (and had that reaction) is that what I really want (aside from orgasms in this glorious sunshine!) is to find my people. Bisexual people, sapphic women, people who realised in their 30s or older about their sexuality, demisexual and asexual people, reciprosexual people (or at least people who know what I mean by reciprosexual) and probably importantly people of colour who are also any of the things I listed. I have queer friends but I don’t have my age queer friends who are also navigating sex, dating, or relationships right now. And I’m looking for them. Make yourselves known.