Do you have a Getting it On playlist? Or whatever phrase that’s cooler than ‘getting it on’?

I never used to. But I created a playlist recently because I am obsessed with one particular song. Her voice, it gets to me. But then I started thinking there are particular songs that I’d probably add to such a list. More so because the songs remind me of times I’ve had sex as opposed to the songs that get me in the mood.

Video Games by Lana del Rey

This is the song I’m currently obsessed by. Her sultry voice does things to me. But especially the way she sings ‘It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you’ that really speaks to the passion that I’ve had for people. Both currently and in the past. I feel like it’s a lyric that I relate to very strongly. And it’s just a sexy song. I heard you like the bad girls, honey is that true? is another favourite lyric.

I’m On Fire by Bruce Springsteen

This one is a weird one. Because in an erotic book I read years ago – that I loved, about a MF couple that live out his cuckolding fantasy by bringing in another man – the main female character says that this song gets her aroused immediately and it’s a trigger in the book that this new sexual adventure is about to start for them.

Tell me now, baby, is he good to you?
And can he do to you the things that I do?

But… I’ve had personal experience with this song. A recent hookup wanted to put on his own sexy playlist while we were having sex. Thankfully, I cannot recall any of the music played during the actual act. But in the comedown, I noticed that the song playing was a cover version of this song. Except the cover was not great. It sounded like a sanitised version, no grit to their voice. It was like they removed all the sexiness from the song and left the shell of a song in its place. I cringed listening to it and I definitely judged the hookup for having such a terrible song on his playlist.

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

Wicked Game, the Chris Isaak version is objectively a very sexy song. I’ve loved it as long as I’ve known of it and I love his voice. There’s something in it. The lyrics, the music, the sound of his voice.

The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do

But I was in Manchester a few years ago visiting a friend for a supposed sexy weekend and he’d the room with his playlist still on and a cover version of Wicked Game came on … and I couldn’t wait for him to return (from the kitchen, getting us both a drink) and yelled into the hallway – ‘What IS this version of this song?!’ and when he came back he said he preferred his version, by Stone Sour, to the Chris Isaak version. And I did not know what to do with that information.

Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

You don’t even have to do too much
You can turn me on with just a touch, baby

I was fairly nervous having my first threesome (I still hope to tell you about that sometime) and I was sitting on their sofa and she suggested some music. She asked me if I had any preferences and when I said ‘no’ she put an album by The Weeknd on repeat.

…And I can’t tell you that I noticed any of the songs. The music. None of it. During that entire experience I was completely and utterly oblivious to anything going on that wasn’t her, to be honest.

It’s only after because when we were all finished, she asked me if I liked The Weeknd and I said ‘of course’ but I said it in a way like I’d have said ‘yes’ to anything because I was so in my own head at that point that very little was getting through to me. I needed to process.

But after that? After that day, whenever I come across anything by The Weeknd I do a little smile and think of how great it all was.