I do this thing sometimes. It started off ages ago when I was mostly talking to people online. And I was finding that I was struggling to find what I was looking for. Either in terms of overlapping sexual interests and preferences but also in terms of communication. So the Sex Compatibility Quiz was born.

It’s something that I still use with potential sexual partners. Mostly it comes out when I already have an idea that I’d probably be interested in getting naked with someone and the answers to this question are more for my own curiosity. But I’ll still ask the questions.

There are so many things that I get from the quiz itself. This first question is the main point of the quiz. And what I want from an answer to this is to glean some idea of what sexual interests or preferences they have but also find out the language they use to describe these preferences. I have deliberately kept the first question very vague but I want them to answer in the way they want to answer. Whether that’s short, to the point, or more detailed with examples. Both answers will lean towards my reaction generally.

If they use vague language and skip over words like ‘pussy’ or whatever, then I get a sense of how confident or hesitant they might be. At least in terms of communication. But another aspect of this, the main one perhaps, is finding out how self aware this person is. How well do they know what they themselves enjoy about sex? But also, if they aren’t answering the questions with me in mind, considering how we might be compatible then that gives me a good insight into their interest in me as well.

The second, third and fourth question helps to delve into a person’s past (best experience), present (masturbation), and future (fantasy). I usually read these looking for recurring themes amongst the answers.

I get the most interesting answers from this quiz. Some men will try to tell me they’re really into emotional connection and sensual encounters (because that’s what I’m into!) but when they answer the following questions their favourite experiences included anonymous encounters, they’re fantasising about hot sex with strangers or masturbating over glory holes, for a very extreme example. But it just shows how the answers to 2, 3 and 4 can either confirm their answer to 1 or completely show them up.

1. What are you into?
2. What is your biggest fantasy and why?
3. What has been your best sexual experience and what was it that made it your favourite?
4. What did you think about/watch the last time you masturbated and what was it about it that got you there?