There was this man, this was years ago now, that I matched with on Tinder. One of the most intriguing parts of his Tinder profile was that he dabbled in writing erotica. I was so curious about what this would look like, if I’d like it.

I matched with him specifically to read his stories that he’d posted on Literotica. And it turned out that they were all incredibly dull and uninspiring and how his partners were described, how the actual sex was described and the way this man put together words all put me off. My biggest takeaway from reading his erotic stories was …I could do it better.

And I had that thought for quite some time. There was always this little part of me that thought I could write erotic stories too. There was a little bit of that as the reason that I started writing this blog.

I’d met someone online who wrote a sex blog years ago and I read some of his blog posts about his experiences. And they were hot, they were. And at the same time I still thought I could probably write that better. Am I just competitive? Or deluded? I’m not sure.

Because I don’t think it’s true anymore. Before I started the blog I’d written out several fantasies that I’d shared with other people (Eye Contact and Wedding Guest) and on the basis of both of those I thought …this is a fun little avenue I’d like to explore more.

But what I didn’t realise then is that the descriptions of the actual sex is not my strong point. The sex itself seems secondary to everything else for me. I like the build up to sex, I like the emotional connection that sex opens up. And I like writing about those things. I don’t particularly love writing explicit content nor do I relish how much detail is needed in writing good erotica. It’s just not in me.

So it took me awhile. But I’m now at that point where I can concede that others do it better. But I still enjoy writing about sex, dating and relationships in my own way.