Have I mentioned that I have a ridiculously high sex drive? I don’t even think I have a high sex drive for a woman, I think it’s just high generally.

But I do have dips in my sex drive where I’m not that interested. This is usually tied in with my mood or stress at work or with family. But lately? I have realised that I had recently been in one of those dips without knowing it and I’ve crested over to the other side of it.

I’m horny all the time lately. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I’m going to the office more frequently (which makes me unhappy) and I’ve started a new course (which makes me constantly exhausted). It doesn’t feel like an optimal time for a surge in arousal.

And yet here we are.

I can sort of pinpoint some of the reasons for this surge. And they’re usually down to being aware of my emotions, being able to express those emotions to the relevant people and usually for a sense of emotional connection with others.

God, I get so aroused by emotional connection.

So, with that in mind, I’ve been masturbating more often lately. It’s not like it used to be. Before things ended with my ex, I’d masturbate daily. Usually twice daily. Sometimes three times. And I’d usually use my fingers and I’d go at it anytime I had a few minutes to myself, take the edge off a bit and then carry on with my day.

These days I need to make more of a meal of it. These days I’ll spend a lot more time thinking of past sexy experiences. Sometimes I’ll use the fact that I like dressing in lingerie and taking selfies in them helps. Occasionally I’ll watch (or listen) to porn. But what I’m looking for is walking down a path of arousal before I touch myself.

Then I get into bed and pull out my toys. I never orgasm on my own but I feel excited that I’m at a point again where my body feels electric again. From the possibility of pleasure. I’m hopeful.