I don’t remember where I first heard about Submit the memoir by sonnet about a woman’s journey as a submissive. But as soon as I did hear of it I was immediately intrigued. I love the idea of reading about how other people write about sex and their own journeys. Especially within submission, which is an area of sexuality that I am exploring myself.

I also, if I’m being entirely truthful, find it fascinating to see how other people approach sex and their experiences from a purely academic perspective. I love exploring word usage, anonymity, the displays of growth within a person’s writing. All areas that I feel like I obsess about writing this blog. So from that point of view I was also excited to read it.

I’ll say straight off, I don’t think I could relate to much of anything in sonnet’s memoir. Our interests in sexual preference did not overlap in much of anything. But that’s okay. I wasn’t reading it to be titillated by her experiences. I read it because I find other people’s experiences, thoughts and journey in sex to be fascinating. And I did find Submit fascinating.

One of the things that I liked most about it is that when sonnet realises something about herself that she wants to explore more, she really dove headfirst into exploring that fully. Whether it’s the physical pain of caning, erotic photography, anonymous sex. She was fearless in her approach. Being a lot more conscious of my own (and other women’s) safety, I found some of her experiences hard to read. But that’s just me and my own view.

I liked her relationship with her partner and also how many different experiences she shares (though all the caning got a little repetitive for me!) I felt like I really got a sense of the supportive nature of her relationship and how engaged she was within her own sexuality.

I’ve read other sex memoirs but this has been my favourite so far. I did read reviews of some backlash to two particular points (a comment she made about dogs and a scenario regarding race play) and both those reviews almost put me off reading it but I’m glad I didn’t. Because those criticisms are taken out of context.

Overall, I thought this was a solid memoir. While I didn’t agree with everything and I found pleasure in almost none of it I still found it thoroughly engaging and deeply interesting.