I’m on Twitter or Threads or Bluesky or any of those things. Or at least I’m not actively on them. My Instagram cross posts things to Threads and sometimes I get notifications on my Insta that people have liked my posts on Threads or it will recommend a thread from someone I follow. But I almost never click on them. In a past life I used to love Twitter. And then just as quickly I fell out of love with it and deleted most social media apps off my phone.

But the other day, I was curious. So I logged into Threads and as expected my feed was full of stuff that I had no interest in and from people I didn’t know. I was completely disengaged. But in that moment I thought ‘but maybe there’ll be something here that is worthwhile’

And that’s when I came across this thread from a Therapy account called therapistalks and I didn’t take much notice of the first thread but it came with a list and three of the lists hit me like a sledgehammer.

The first one said this:

1. When someone goes quiet, do I assume they’re losing interest instead of simply living their life? Silence feels threatening when consistency was never promised to you.

And the way I felt when I read that. I had to take a really big breath in and let it out slowly.

I’ve almost never thought silence from someone just meant living their lives. I think the beginning tweet on this one was something about inconsistency? Anxious attachment? And this is something I’m really trying to work on.

I wish I could go back and ask people ‘if I don’t hear from you, is it because of disinterest? or some other reasonable explanation?’ instead of just jumping to my own conclusions and potentially sabotaging things I’ve had with people. I wish I could be more straightforward and direct in how I’m feeling. I wish I could tell people what I feel in a way so that I’ll be heard and understood.

Instead, I’m going to try to inch closer to where I’d like to be.