A few weeks ago I got a message from a man. As soon as I opened it, I felt like frisson of excitement. That doesn’t happen often. But the message itself, while brief, was interesting, engaging and …I don’t know. There was a vibe to it. I clicked on the man’s profile. And he’s handsome, age appropriate and local.

It’s only down to how long I’ve been single and looking and how many disappointments I’ve faced recently that my first thought was ‘what’s the catch here?’ Smart, attractive, single men do not message me enough.

Conversation carries on for about a week. We’re discussing the difficulties of dating, of dating apps, about not gelling with people based on how they speak about women (from him). About some of our experiences. Something about what we’re looking for.

Late one night after quite a lot of back and forth, he says ‘Let’s go for a drink sometime…’

And I responded with something like ‘I’d really like that’

And then I didn’t hear from him for just over a week. I could have responded better. I could have asked when he was available, I could have said when I was free. But I honestly just thought conversation would pick up again the following morning.

I don’t even know if I want to send a follow-up message to ask if he still wanted that drink? Are his actions speaking louder than his words here? Or are things so dire just generally that I persist on this disappearing act?

I wish I knew.