Am I getting grumpy in my old age?

I’d been chatting to a couple recently. I wouldn’t say extensively, but a handful of messages back and forth. There were concerns right from the beginning. Mostly that they lived further away than my preference. But sometimes I can overlook certain things. And I did initially.

I can’t remember now what we talked about. It had to have been something interesting. One or both of them likely said something that made me laugh. Which is why when they suggested meeting up sometime I said ‘when were you thinking?’ instead of ‘no’

They suggested a day and even though I was available that day I did ask ‘if we met up that day, when would it be likely to happen?’ based on the distance between us. ‘Whenever you like’ they said. But when I pushed further they said sometime after 9pm. Haha, no.

Thankfully I’m much better at saying ‘no’ to people. And giving no shits about whether or not they like my reason, if I bother to give one. In this case I did give a reason. I said I’m not at my best late in the evening so that time doesn’t work for me. I didn’t explain further, but I like getting into bed with my dog by 9pm! I don’t want to be sat somewhere making awkward conversation trying not to yawn at someone.

They pushed for that weekend. I can’t remember what I had going on that weekend but I almost wrote back to them to say ‘yeah, I’m just not feeling it’ but I didn’t. I thought … let me give them one more chance. So I said ‘no’ to the weekend but didn’t fully close the door on the possibility of another time.

Conversation carried on. It was pleasant if not particularly exciting. Eventually, it got into the mundane. How are you? What are you up to today? And I don’t mind some of that in conversation. But I’d grow weary if it stayed in that region. I told them I’d gone for a walk with my dog. We talked about my dog for awhile. I mentioned that he can be a bit anxious so his behaviour and routine might look different to other dogs.

They (I don’t know if it was him or her who wrote it) responded to say I should take my dog to a dog trainer, they do that for adult dogs too, you know? And it carried on in this vein, with a slight condescending tone about what I should or should not be doing for my dog and carrying on like they knew what was best for him.

I just deleted the message thread there and then. No explanation given. No more words.

I love finding out where my boundaries are with other people. And I guess I now know I am very sensitive to unsolicited advice/criticism about the thing I love best in the whole wide world.