I’ve been wondering lately if I’m in a rut. It’s felt like too much work, too much energy to do certain things.

A lot of that is has been down to a lack of interest in responding to messages I receive. There’s a lack of interest in search out profiles that I think might look interesting. There’s a lack of interest in attending events locally where I could be meeting new people.

I think back on that awful date I went on with the couple recently where I asked no questions. I don’t want to be that shit date again.

But it mostly comes down to … I don’t have the energy to be fully engaged in dating, having sex or looking for relationships.

Part of that, I’m sure, is down to the major life stressors I have at the moment. I hate my job. I get the Sunday dreads. I’ve been looking for a new job for forever and I’m not getting anywhere which is both frustrating and disheartening. My ongoing issue with my car which might be coming to an end soon, but we’ll see. After 5 months of hassle surely it can’t just be all over. Not without more drama?

Things at home have been high stress lately too. There’s mess everywhere. There’s uncertainty. There’s passive-aggressive behaviour. It’s just not very nice.

So it makes sense that I’m feeling this way. I should really take a step back. Give myself a breather. Then when I feel more up to it, get back out there. Will I do that though? No, probably not. I’m rushing headfirst into some bad decisions…