I had such a great time with that couple awhile back. I remember driving home from spending time with them smiling at the conversation, the ease of being around them, their gorgeous dogs.

Messaging went back and forth. It wasn’t every day, it was more like longer messages every four days or so, and it was nice that it felt quite consistent. And still easy. We had started talking about making plans to see each other again and I wasn’t able to make one of the dates they suggested.

…And then I didn’t hear from them for over a week. And I started feeling really sad about it. I didn’t want this connect to taper off after such promise. But at the same time, I realised that if this had happened a year ago, or maybe 6 months ago if I’d been ghosted by a couple I’d start thinking it was my fault. I’d start questioning if I was too much or not enough or something I said must have been broken something.

But that didn’t happen this time. I thought about the evening we spent together and I thought …I’m not wrong. We all enjoyed each other’s company and I was sure that whatever the reason was for their silence it wasn’t because I was wrong about how we all get on or about their interest in me.

And that makes for a nice change. An absence of self doubt is a nice. It feels like growth.

Sadly, I wrote this and then left it in my drafts folder. because I heard from the couple again. We settled on a date for me to come around and maybe get to that wink wink part of the evening. But the day before, they cancelled. For a legitimate reason. And yet I don’t feel as confident when I wrote the start of this post in where I stand with them.

I guess I can only wait and see.