So I went on a date recently. Usually I opt for low commitment, low energy options like meeting for a coffee or a drink. But when this man suggested dinner instead I thought … yeah, okay. I don’t want to be closed off to opportunity or possibility. So I went with that.

Lord, I wish I hadn’t bothered.

We did message quite a bit beforehand. But we mostly talked about my recent holiday with which he happened to have a connection. We talked about food and work. I wish now that we’d strayed into some other topics because maybe then I would have seen the red flags before having a date from hell. But it happened.

I quite liked that he suggested dinner. And he chose a place and considered my drive time to get there compared to his. I chose the date and time we were meeting. I was excited by it.

And then he arrived in shorts and sliders and I thought …okay. Whatever you’re comfortable in. And we enter the restaurant and we start some small talk. It isn’t until we’ve had our drinks delivered that I realise fuck, this is going to be hellish to make it through.

I won’t go over every thing that was said. But the highlights include:

Him telling a story about work in which he was asked to do something ‘beneath’ him and said ‘What am I? An immigrant from Mexico?’

Him telling a story about work in which he said ‘No offence, but most of my team are Nepalese so their ability to speak English comes and goes’

Him telling a story in which he met up recently with his ex wife and mother of his children at a family event where he mimicked her voice in a high pitched way and what she said and at one point he had told her she was looking well but then as an aside to me in this story he admitted she wasn’t looking well at all and then made other derogatory remarks about her

He essentially told me I’m ‘not like other women’ but I can’t quite recall the reason for this elevation above other women

He rolled his eyes and made impatient gestures to the wait staff when they took longer to bring him his water or the bill than he wanted

He would ask me questions but wait until I stopped speaking so he could talk more about himself or his opinions on things

He made me agree with his opinion that non-monogamy shouldn’t be a thing and if two people were giving each other everything they needed that people shouldn’t want more

He told me in great detail his opinion on women who have full sex lives and have multiple sexual partners

He told a long, bragging story about holidays he’d taken when he was younger as though I was meant to be impressed by them

Even though I switched off halfway through this dinner and was only nodding my head, saying ‘mm’ now and again and mostly taking sips of my water he said ‘this is going well, isn’t it?’ and I wasn’t brave enough to say it’s really not

He then told me that he was apprehensive about meeting me because I came across as serious and without a sense of humour

He asked me if I wanted to come to his for a coffee afterwards

He leaned in as though he wanted a kiss as I was trying to leave

We did plan on going ice skating for our next date but I have no intention of following through with that and felt lucky to get in my car and drive away.