I’ve had this fantasy for awhile. It started around the same time as I had this friendship with an older man who lived far away.  We used to video call and I found that I liked the way he looked at me.  I liked that his gaze on me was so intense and unwavering and I liked it so much that this fantasy formed in my head. At first it was him in my fantasy, but it’s been so long since we lost contact that I almost don’t remember what he looks like anymore.

I’m laying naked on a bed. It’s not my bed. There are white sheets and a white duvet on it, soft pillows. And it sort of starts with the focus just on me, and I’m just enjoying my own body, running my fingers down my neck, over my nipples, the soft skin under my breasts, along my stomach. And I’m enjoying it.

And at some point, not in any hurry, I look up and there’s someone I really fancy standing off to one side. With this intense look on his face. Sometimes he’s only staring right into my eyes, sometimes he’s watching my fingers graze over my skin, clear desire on his face. Sometimes he’s clothed, sometimes he’s naked too, his hand on his erect cock but just as I’m languorous about the way I touch my body so is he. 

And I want this man. The very moment I notice he’s there I can feel this change in my body, a feeling of electricity everywhere that he looks and my mouth opens like I want to use it on him, my breath goes faster. And somehow I just know that he’s isn’t going to move towards me, I know that if he ever does that I’ve got to earn it.

With his gaze on me I feel like I’ve never been more aware of every part of my body and now, with him looking at me, my hands are touching where I want his hands on me, where I imagine him licking. My legs part and I can’t tear my eyes away from him. As he’s watching me, or as he’s watching my fingers slowly circling my clit.

But I’m still taking my time, I know he wants that too. And it feels like this is all I want to do, touch myself slowly, with purpose to make myself feel good, to make him feel good too. But at the same time I can barely breathe properly from the anticipation of him moving towards me.

So my hands move faster, I use my fingers, my back starts to arch. My eyes are half closed because what my fingers are doing feels so good and I want to lose myself to it but I can’t because it means losing that connection between us. I suck my fingers into my mouth and hope he realises I’m at the end of my patience.