My second threesome was sexy as hell but the way it ended up absolutely broke me. There’s definitely a reason that I haven’t actively pursued the idea of another threesome since.

We met online. They were a married couple, both very attractive, her especially but I liked how he seemed to be the embodiment of a playful puppy. He was obviously the more chatty and outgoing between the two of them. They’d explained that it was the first time opening up their marriage and that she’d had plenty of FF experiences prior to them getting together.

We were all into the idea of getting to know each other better before anything happened. The idea was that things could become more of an ongoing thing. That if the chemistry was there and there was willingness that we might all see each other more regularly, as the three of us or in different combinations of one on one. We video called several times, we had lots of discussions about who we are as people and what’s important to us.

We often talked about what it meant for them to be opening their relationship for the first time. Their thoughts and feelings about seeing the other with another person, what that would mean. How they’d approach it. And I thought we were headed into some good spaces. I was excited to meet them.

We decided to meet up in the bar area of the hotel they were staying in. It was a no pressure drink and catch up with the understanding that if any of us didn’t want to go any further we’d finish our drinks and wish each other well. But from the moment we met all three of us were cracking jokes and feeling fairly comfortable with each other. I loved how thoughtful they both were. When they ended up talking about things that didn’t involve me one or both of them would recognise this and give a little recap of the context so I wasn’t bored. And they were usually funny anecdotes about things that I wanted to be involved in.

Eventually though, we ended up in their hotel room. Because we’d just hung out for several hours laughing and talking I was feeling pretty relaxed but they suggested we play a little game to slowly get into things. It was a combination of spin the bottle and truth or dare in that there was a bottle that each of us spun and whoever it landed on would suggest something that the other two did to each other.

I generally like things that slow things down, that build up anticipation. Especially when I’m feeling particularly impatient (this is always). Dares started pretty slowly, tracing a finger down her neck, doing the same with a tongue. Taking off the button up shirt she was wearing to reveal a vest top that could barely contain her breasts.

Mercifully, just the act of starting this game seemed to rev everyone’s engine and it was abandoned fairly shortly after. We’d decided beforehand that she and I would start things off with him enjoying the show before he joined us. And oh lord.

With her clothes on and with her clothes off she is by far the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. She had such a pretty face, with long, wavy hair. An air of being effortlessly cool and comfortable in her own body. She had large boobs and nipples that stood out, she had curvy hips and a softness to her that had me fantasising about her for months after, even after what happened.

I felt dizzy from the softness of her lips, the sight of her. I’ve never had such a strong reaction to just touching someone. But I really felt …I can’t believe I get to be near this sexy, beautiful woman. And I really got lost in her. In feeling her, in giving her pleasure, her nipples were incredibly sensitive and she loved having them played with, having them sucked into my mouth.

At some point, he joined in. His body pressed against my back, gently kissing my shoulder and neck, his hands circling my body, touching hers at the same time. The hairiness of his chest, his legs provided such an interesting contrast to the softness of her body and I twisted around to give him a kiss. One of my hands left hers to find his cock.

I don’t remember everything that happened. It felt like a blur of bodies, of hands, of mouths and tongues. But it was definitely one of those incredible experiences where we were all acting towards each other’s pleasure, all three of us at once. There were things that they’d brought up that they wanted to happen but I liked how they happened in a natural way rather than a ‘what’s next on the list?’

There were times where I noticed that they were silently checking in with each other with some of those looks that couples give to each other where whole conversations are being had with just looks. And I didn’t think much of it, just trusted that they were on top of things with themselves.

After a bit of cuddling where our legs and arms were still entwined with each other’s, we ended up going out for dinner, with more of the natural conversation and laughter. When I asked tentatively how they were both feeling over slices of pizza, they were vague and non-committal. They said they’d discuss it later between themselves and let me know. I told them sincerely that I hope they both felt good about the experience and that they kept my number. They both laughed and said they’d definitely keep my number.

But they didn’t. Six days later, he texted me that whilst they both had a great time with me that it would be better if we didn’t see each other or communicate with each other anymore. The reason he gave was that they were focusing on saving their marriage.

I really hope that the sexual experience with me just exacerbated cracks that were already there in their relationship. But it’s definitely hard not to feel the weight of responsibility. It’s such an awful feeling that an experience that I think of as being quite incredible resulted in the breakdown of a marriage. I do my best to say that it isn’t my fault. It’s not my fault. But I don’t always believe myself.