When my marriage fell apart one of the things I really wanted to do was to have new experiences. Whether that was meeting new people, trying new things, or specifically to try new sexual things.

When I met my ex, we each had our own lists of sexual things that we wanted to explore. The items on the list varied and it was more about calling into mind certain things we’d always been curious about as opposed to a ticking off list for the sake of it. I quite enjoyed when he’d use his own initiative to explore a little into areas that I hadn’t even considered.

I haven’t really considered sexual exploration much until recently. I always felt like it mattered more who I was with and the things we wanted to do together. But lately I have realised that there are things I’d like to try or explore. Things that I’ve been curious about and once the idea is in my head I’ve started to think …what will that be like?

I do have a preference for who I’d like to try these things with but I feel like I have to be a realist about it all.

First up, though is a MFM threesome. I can honestly say the idea of it held no appeal to me for years and years. I’m the type of bisexual where if my dream man and my dream woman were standing in front of me, I’d always choose the woman. Since realising my interest in women I think I’ve always known that as much as I love sex and sex with men, I have a preference for women. So it came as somewhat of a shock that the idea of being with two men started creeping into my head.

Having given it more thought, I think this one is about attention. I’m not getting the level of attention that I want and somehow in my brain that has translated into double your chances of getting what you want by doubling the sexual partners in front of you. Who am I to argue?

Next up. For a bit of context, I was in a group chat with a MF couple where the man had a very large penis and she was a bit hesitant about doing anal with him. And eventually she did and she loved it. This isn’t the only reason that anal is on my Sexual Exploration list but it has contributed to it. Anal had been on my list before with my ex but we never got around to it. I had bought an anal douche and everything (it’s still in its box nearly two years later!)

I’ve had anal before exactly twice. The first time, which was a ‘neither one of us are really into this idea but why not find out what it’s like’ sort of thing was not appealing to me at all. The second time I did enjoy but I can’t work out now if I enjoy it because of the act itself or because of the context of how it happened? And I’d like to know definitively.

The third and final act that I have on my list is another that is leftover from my time with my ex. He and I went to a couple of clubs and we did engage in sexual activity in public (and some activity in private that was quite obvious to those nears us!) but I’m not entirely sure what feelings I get about people watching me. I know I like being watched in a one on one setting but I still want to know if it gets me hot to do things in full view of consenting others. I don’t know where I fall with that one. And again, I would like to know.

Do you have anything on your list you’ve been dying to try?