I had this awkward thing happen the other day. It didn’t have to be awkward, I just couldn’t work out how to not be awkward.

There’s this man I’ve seen a couple of times, he attends some of the same social events that I do. I can’t remember that we’ve said anything more than just a ‘hello’ to each other when being introduced. I don’t know anything about him other than his name and what he looks like. One or two identifying features about him (accent and height).

But the other day I saw him and I must have blushed in this really obvious way. We said ‘hello’ and maybe something like where we’d met before, briefly. And then because I’m me and because I can’t control how awkward I am, I said to him … someone said something a little bit weird about you. And then my name was called, and I walked away and he was like, you can’t just leave it there like that? And I told him if I saw him in this event we were both going to that I’d elaborate.

But if I’m being honest, I didn’t want to elaborate. I wanted to suck the words straight back into my mouth after I’d said them. Why did I tell him that I’d heard something weird about him? Why would I say that? And yet I did. I did tell him that.

And about an hour later, we locked eyes in this event we were both at. So reluctantly, I went over to tell him the rest of the story.

And the rest of the story is that a mutual friend that we both know had said to me months ago in a message …hey Em, you should try out this guy, I think you’d like him. Plus, he has a really big dick. Wink face emoji.

Months ago when I get that message I remember messaging another friend going, why has this happened? Why has this person sent me this message? Do I come across as someone who needs help in getting sexual partners? Am I some sort of charity case? That I need this additional push or suggestion towards specific people? I don’t understand.

And at the time, after a bit of a rant about it, I felt okay to just …let it go. Not everything needs to be understood and I thought I was fine with that.

And then I saw this man, and as soon as I saw him I thought about what this person said. And I blushed. And then awkwardly threw words in between us. And lord, was it mortifying to say to some man I barely know that someone else thinks we should have sex. Primarily, I guess, based on his cock size.

Thankfully he took it well. And in return, he very awkwardly and with some discomfort of his own explained the reason why this friend of ours knows such intimate details of his anatomy.

As soon as I could, I left. I figured we’d exchanged equal awkward stories with each other and that balanced each other out. There was no longer any need for us to share space any longer. Phew. I made it through.