It’s been a little strange recently. After I posted ‘Park Runner?’ the other day I’ve since had four people who have no business popping back into my life do so. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

The first, I’ve written about him on the blog previously, was someone I was quite good friends with. We used to go for walks and talking about books and he was really cute and he made me laugh. We did have sex and it was quite a bumpy start with him. But he disappeared on me for mental health reasons and in the end I blocked his number. I saw him on Feeld recently. I wanted to click that little ‘x’ and move on. But I didn’t. I hit the heart. I only regret it now because we haven’t matched or anything. I’ve just sent my little heart out into the world with no response.

The second was also someone I’ve written about on this blog before. It was earlier this year in fact. We got on like a house on fire, we’d video called before our coffee date. We kissed in the car park as we were meant to be saying goodbye but impulsively when he asked ‘unless you want to come to mine?’ and I said ‘yes’ Sadly, I got my hopes up, he asked me on a very romantic date and then the week of the date happening he cancelled and I’ve never heard from him again. He showed up in a chatroom I was in, tried to make a very dramatic entrance, likely saw that I was in the room and typing and quickly left it. That sort of cowardly behaviour is really not very attractive.

The third is a bit unusual for me. Her kid and my kid used to be friends, I’ve had her kid to my house before and I’m pretty sure I dropped my kid to hers before too? It was a long time ago. I wouldn’t say we were friendly but we were definitely those parents who had each other’s numbers in case of car pool opportunities or birthday party invites. I’m sure I haven’t seen or thought about her in years. Only for me to recognise the pictures she’d uploaded on the website I use. Curious to find out if it really is her and I click on her profile only to read someone had left a verification that read ‘God, this lady’s pussy tastes great’ Right. That’s not awkward at all. Can’t block her, and I find it fascinating to see what status updates or pictures she uploads next. I need to go touch grass.

Like I said, I don’t know how I feel about these things happening. A bit of shame? Particularly for the first two? And that bit of gossipy curiosity for the third?