Someone asked generally what I needed recently. I don’t think it was aimed specifically at me or aimed at my circumstances recently. But I still sat with that question for far longer than it was intended.

And at first, my answers were all fairly simple, straightforward and surface level. I wanted a good meal cooked by someone else, a nap. A break. An orgasm.

But once I went a little bit deeper and asked myself again ‘what do you need?’ the answer came to me fairly easily.

What I needed was for someone who loved me, or at least who I was very comfortable with, to hold me while I cried. To feel their arms around me. For that person to be patient and wait until I’d let it all out, and to stroke my back and my hair while I was crying. I needed that person to say things like ‘I’m here’ or ‘I’ve got you’ or ‘It’s going to be okay’

I can’t remember the last time something like this happened. Where I felt so safe and comforted. Looked after.

And I miss it.