I wrote previously about visiting a nudist spa with my ex which was an interesting and mostly positive experience.

Since then, I’ve also visited the nudist spa on my own. Sadly, for me the experience was not positive in any way.

It felt like a big deal to go to this place on my own. I really felt like I wanted to push myself to do scary things, not let my own fear or anxiety stop me from doing new things, trying new things or going places that feel scary. So I really psyched myself up to do this thing on my own. I drove myself there on a Sunday, I even bought myself flip flops.

I was really proud of myself for getting there, for walking through the door. And that’s when it all went wrong.

At the reception desk I was registering and I barely noticed a man who had interrupted my registration to tell the receptionist that he wanted to pop out to grab some food and that he would return. Aside from being aware that he had spoken I didn’t take in anything about this man. He was just some guy who wandered into the room I was in while I was in it. I was more focused on getting myself through the door and into the nudist spa.

Once I got in, I thought phew. I’m here. Time to relax, talk to people and enjoy myself. I got undressed, took a shower, wandered into the hot tubs. And I was lounging about, mostly on my own when he walked in. He was a tallish man, with a specific accent, longish hair, in relatively good shape. His face put me off in that way that certain people’s faces do when I can’t immediately tell if they’re kind or not.

Anyway, he was looking out for me. As soon as he saw me it looked like there was some spark of recognition. Like we’d met before? But I knew immediately that I had never seen him before. He asked if he could join me in the hot tubs and I nodded my head. I knew that I didn’t want to speak to him so I closed my eyes and went back to relaxing in the hot water, trying to ease my tired muscles.

I think he saw me massaging my own shoulders at one point and tried making conversation with me. I mostly just smiled but didn’t really interact. Eventually I got out of the hot tub (and he paid very close attention to seeing my fully naked body outside of the hot tub in a way only creepy men do) and I grabbed my towel and made my way upstairs to the bar area.

Not five minutes later, he joined me. He asked if he could sit at the table I was at which was large and had chairs for 5-6 people. I shrugged and said ‘okay’ and as soon as he sat down he was asking me questions. Did I live locally? Did I come here a lot? How come he hadn’t seen me here before? I kept things vague, I lived relatively local, I’d been there before, I didn’t often visit.

Eventually, without any encouragement, he volunteered a great deal of information to me. He told me about where he was from, where he lived, what he did for work, how often he attended the spa. He said he really liked my bone structure, that I looked ‘exotic’ – I didn’t know what to say to that so said ‘thanks’ and then turned away. During this entire monologue I had barely looked at him.

He went on to tell me he really loved ‘exotic’ girls, that he’d been with women from the Phillipines, from the Middle East, girls from India and Sri Lanka, Thai girls, and other countries within southeast Asia. He said to me, can I ask your ethnicity? You have such an unusual look. He said he spotted me the second I walked in, had I noticed that he was the man leaving the spa as I was speaking to the person at reception? No, I said. And he went on to say that as soon as he saw me he knew he’d have to eat really quickly and come straight back for me, I was exactly his type. And, you didn’t answer, he said. What is your ethnicity? I said I’d rather not say.

He said he’d seen me rubbing my shoulders, did I want to go with him to one of the rooms where there is a massage table and he’d give me a massage? I said ‘Look, I’m not interested, I don’t want to talk, I don’t want a massage, I’m just here to relax on my own’ and he probably took offence at that, probably insisted that he was just talking, just being friendly, he wanted to get to know me but I got up and left.

I wasn’t sure where to go, so I ended up in the pool. There were a group of people on one end of the pool laughing and talking together but I wasn’t feeling particularly social so I stayed on the other side of the pool. A few minutes later, my friend, the ‘exotic’ hunter, joined me in the pool. When he saw me he held up his hands and said ‘I’m just here to swim in the pool, same as you’ but he was always within a few arm lengths away from me and eventually he couldn’t help himself and floated over to me to tell me he really did just mean a massage in the private room if I wanted one, it didn’t have to be anything more unless I wanted it to. Again I said ‘no’

There was another single man in the pool that swam over to say hello. He had an open face, I liked his smile. I thought briefly if he was there to ‘save’ me from this other man. While I was talking to this man the first one seemed to back off a bit. But slowly, as the conversation went on I realised that both men were moving towards me, that I was being herded into the corner of the pool and that they were closing in on me fast.

Eventually, the first man touched my bare thigh under the water as he stood right next to me and the other man was fairly close on the other side. I said loudly ‘do not touch me’ and that’s probably what sparked the intervention of the group of people on the other side of the pool. A man came over straight away and asked if I was okay, if I needed his assistance, if these two men were bothering me.

I was in a panic at that point, I had been afraid at the men crowding me, I hadn’t expected to be touched without my consent. Briefly I thought, I’m naked in a pool with two men who are taller and stronger than me and what would I have done if this group of people hadn’t stepped in? I felt like I was on the edge of a panic attack and I said ‘I’m leaving’ before getting out of the pool and heading straight to the locker rooms.

I had just taken a shower and gotten changed when the man in the pool who had stepped in poked his head into the changing rooms along with a woman friend to ask if I was okay. I told him thank you and that I’d appreciated him helping when he had and he introduced himself, said he was there most Sundays and to look out for him if I ever needed help or just wanted a buddy to keep the bad ones away. I smiled but decided I’d never put myself in that position again.

Even as I was using a hairdryer before I finally left, a man placed himself in front of me to ask ‘leaving so soon?’ and I just side-eyed him until he left. There was a couple in the changing rooms with me and it made me laugh when the woman said ‘god, they never leave you poor women alone, you can’t even dry your hair without them sticking their nose in’ and it felt true. Sad, but true.

I felt like prey at the nudist spa this time. A hunter had seen me straight away and zeroed in on the kill moving from the hot tubs to the bar to the pool in a single-minded attempt to get what he wanted. Which appeared to be to tick off some other ethnicity on his list of women he’d shagged. He didn’t take no for an answer, didn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable he made me, and touched me without my consent.

It’s no wonder that I won’t be going to the nudist spa on my own ever again.